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    You should shut the fuck up. You say the dumbest shit, sometimes. Asshole.

    You should shut the fuck up. You say the dumbest shit, sometimes. Asshole.

    — 3 years ago
    Dear Asshole Husband Asshole,
Stop throwing money at me and try being a husband for a change…and a father! You think your job makes you a man but all it makes you is a worker. Being able to actually raise a family makes you a man!
By the way…this isn’t going to be enough to cover the bills. If you’re going to throw money at me, why don’t you throw me enough to actually pay for shit!
Fucking moron.

    Dear Asshole Husband Asshole,

    Stop throwing money at me and try being a husband for a change…and a father! You think your job makes you a man but all it makes you is a worker. Being able to actually raise a family makes you a man!

    By the way…this isn’t going to be enough to cover the bills. If you’re going to throw money at me, why don’t you throw me enough to actually pay for shit!

    Fucking moron.

    — 3 years ago
    So….
You want me to stay with you? Really? After all the shit you’ve put me through over the past zillion fucking years?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I swear, I am convinced you’re a maniac. Actually, I think that you hate me and only pretend to love me so that you can remain close enough to ruin my life.
Don’t laugh. I’m serious.
Because every time I walk away, here you come, chasing behind me, professing all this fucking love for me that fell from the damn sky.
You’re an idiot.
I’m not staying this time. No. No. No. I am walking out of this door and into the world, never looking back. And if I were you, I’d let go of my leg and get up off the floor.
A man could get a serious belly burn dragging behind me like this.

    So….

    You want me to stay with you? Really? After all the shit you’ve put me through over the past zillion fucking years?

    What the fuck is wrong with you?

    I swear, I am convinced you’re a maniac. Actually, I think that you hate me and only pretend to love me so that you can remain close enough to ruin my life.

    Don’t laugh. I’m serious.

    Because every time I walk away, here you come, chasing behind me, professing all this fucking love for me that fell from the damn sky.

    You’re an idiot.

    I’m not staying this time. No. No. No. I am walking out of this door and into the world, never looking back. And if I were you, I’d let go of my leg and get up off the floor.

    A man could get a serious belly burn dragging behind me like this.

    — 3 years ago
    Hubby,
I woke up this morning and realized you weren’t here. I almost got mad, but then I I remembered…you’ve never been here.
I have been married to a ghost.
So, fuck you and stay gone.
Good morning!

    Hubby,

    I woke up this morning and realized you weren’t here. I almost got mad, but then I I remembered…you’ve never been here.

    I have been married to a ghost.

    So, fuck you and stay gone.

    Good morning!

    — 3 years ago
    Dear Husband Fuckwad,
It’s been so many years and though we have had good times, happy times, we have also had some of the most miserable times imaginable. I have been more unhappy with you than with anyone else I’ve ever met in my whole life.
I am losing love for you.
But, it’s the idea of failure that keeps me from killing you like those women on Snapped lingering. It’s the notion of proving your mother naysayers right. It’s the idea that we are a disaster family and everything inside my body as a woman tells me that my happiness family is more important than anything you have to say or offer my own happiness.
I keep so much to myself.
I suffer in silence and slip rat bait into your food cry when no one is around. I can’t  talk to my friends of my family because they’ve been telling me for years that I should leave you. Still, here I sit, thinking of ways to leave you. Carrying on affairs. Never ever doing it.
But, things are winding down and we are almost to the end.
And the more I come to my end, the tighter you hold on. Asshole. What men like you never realize is that even though women like me can take and take, one day, we just stop.
No warning. Never looking back.

    Dear Husband Fuckwad,

    It’s been so many years and though we have had good times, happy times, we have also had some of the most miserable times imaginable. I have been more unhappy with you than with anyone else I’ve ever met in my whole life.

    I am losing love for you.

    But, it’s the idea of failure that keeps me from killing you like those women on Snapped lingering. It’s the notion of proving your mother naysayers right. It’s the idea that we are a disaster family and everything inside my body as a woman tells me that my happiness family is more important than anything you have to say or offer my own happiness.

    I keep so much to myself.

    I suffer in silence and slip rat bait into your food cry when no one is around. I can’t  talk to my friends of my family because they’ve been telling me for years that I should leave you. Still, here I sit, thinking of ways to leave you. Carrying on affairs. Never ever doing it.

    But, things are winding down and we are almost to the end.

    And the more I come to my end, the tighter you hold on. Asshole. What men like you never realize is that even though women like me can take and take, one day, we just stop.

    No warning. Never looking back.

    — 3 years ago
    Dear Husband,
You’re a big fucking baby the best husband ever! I am so lucky fucked. Our two beautiful children are driving me crazy my pride and joy and I am thrilled mortified you want to have more right away!
Your Wife Baby Machine.

    Dear Husband,

    You’re a big fucking baby the best husband ever! I am so lucky fucked. Our two beautiful children are driving me crazy my pride and joy and I am thrilled mortified you want to have more right away!

    Your Wife Baby Machine.

    — 3 years ago
    Dearest Husband,
I am writing this note to let you know that I fucking hate you. 
I know now, more than ever, that this is not where I belong. I know now, more than ever, that the one thing that keeps me here is the children. And actually, I’m starting to believe that somewhere inside of me, I kinda fucking hate them, too.
I wonder where my life went and everyday when I wake up I tell myself this will be the day that I take back my happiness. Instead, everyday becomes like the days before. They all begin the same. They all end the same.
The cooking, the cleaning, the organizing, and the bossing around. I know you think I love it all and, in moderation, I do! But I wish I had more help. More than that, I wish I could just strangle leave you here.
So, while you sleep I look at you and I think of ways to leave. But then, I think of the kids and how devastated they would be if I poisoned left you. I think of how hard we’ve worked to just get this far! I think of our first kiss, our first dance, our first fight, and all the kisses, dances, and fights we’ve had since.
We put alot into “us” and it’s hard to just leave. So, I’ll just sit here in the dark and lament. I will just sit and wonder who I could have been if I would have just walked away all those years ago.
And then…
When I’m finished, I’m pretty sure I’m going to fuck our new pool man, Javier. He’s Canadian and I quite like that.
xoxo
Your Wife

    Dearest Husband,

    I am writing this note to let you know that I fucking hate you. 

    I know now, more than ever, that this is not where I belong. I know now, more than ever, that the one thing that keeps me here is the children. And actually, I’m starting to believe that somewhere inside of me, I kinda fucking hate them, too.

    I wonder where my life went and everyday when I wake up I tell myself this will be the day that I take back my happiness. Instead, everyday becomes like the days before. They all begin the same. They all end the same.

    The cooking, the cleaning, the organizing, and the bossing around. I know you think I love it all and, in moderation, I do! But I wish I had more help. More than that, I wish I could just strangle leave you here.

    So, while you sleep I look at you and I think of ways to leave. But then, I think of the kids and how devastated they would be if I poisoned left you. I think of how hard we’ve worked to just get this far! I think of our first kiss, our first dance, our first fight, and all the kisses, dances, and fights we’ve had since.

    We put alot into “us” and it’s hard to just leave. So, I’ll just sit here in the dark and lament. I will just sit and wonder who I could have been if I would have just walked away all those years ago.

    And then…

    When I’m finished, I’m pretty sure I’m going to fuck our new pool man, Javier. He’s Canadian and I quite like that.

    xoxo

    Your Wife

    — 4 years ago
    No, no…mommy’s just going to the umm…suitcase mender. Yeah, that’s it! Suitcase mender!

    No, no…mommy’s just going to the umm…suitcase mender. Yeah, that’s it! Suitcase mender!

    — 4 years ago
    Dearest Husband,
Today, I realized that I am still hurt.
Our past is filled with such pain and betrayal and I honestly thought I was over it all. I thought I had forgiven you for all you’ve done to contribute to the deterioration of this relationship. Then, I realized I have not.
Today, it’s all fresh again as if it were just yesterday I caught you with that woman. As if it were just yesterday you humiliated me by filing for divorce. I thought we’d made amends but, I have to admit, I’m furious.
So, I sit here alone tonight as you run around town doing this, doing that, and it hits me. I’m not your wife anymore and the daughter I call ours, isn’t. I am raising another woman’s child. I also realize that you’ll never have children with me because your child is still a baby and my body is drying up by the minute.
Tonight, I’ve realized that we are living a lie, carrying on as if this thing is real. We have no marriage, we have no children, we have nothing to validate what we’re doing here. What we do have, however, is an arrangement and, frankly, this arrangement of ours hurts too much for me to go on smiling.
I know, I know…we’ve been through so much, what’s a little more? But my dear husband…ex-husband…you’ve taken my dreams from me.
There is no more.

So long.
The Ex

    Dearest Husband,

    Today, I realized that I am still hurt.

    Our past is filled with such pain and betrayal and I honestly thought I was over it all. I thought I had forgiven you for all you’ve done to contribute to the deterioration of this relationship. Then, I realized I have not.

    Today, it’s all fresh again as if it were just yesterday I caught you with that woman. As if it were just yesterday you humiliated me by filing for divorce. I thought we’d made amends but, I have to admit, I’m furious.

    So, I sit here alone tonight as you run around town doing this, doing that, and it hits me. I’m not your wife anymore and the daughter I call ours, isn’t. I am raising another woman’s child. I also realize that you’ll never have children with me because your child is still a baby and my body is drying up by the minute.

    Tonight, I’ve realized that we are living a lie, carrying on as if this thing is real. We have no marriage, we have no children, we have nothing to validate what we’re doing here. What we do have, however, is an arrangement and, frankly, this arrangement of ours hurts too much for me to go on smiling.

    I know, I know…we’ve been through so much, what’s a little more? But my dear husband…ex-husband…you’ve taken my dreams from me.

    There is no more.

    So long.

    The Ex

    — 4 years ago
    Dear Husband,
You’re too late.
It’s over.

-Your Wife

    Dear Husband,

    You’re too late.

    It’s over.

    -Your Wife

    — 4 years ago
    My Love,
Over the years, I have been so hard on you but, only because I know how good you can be––how much of a better man there has always been inside of you.
There were times when you hadn’t been a good friend to me, nor a good husband or father. There were times when you abandoned me and everything we built. You tore us apart with lies and mistrust, infidelities, and your absence.
I spent so many years being so hurt. I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep, unable to stomach food or drink, unable to forgive, forget, or love you. I have hated you and cursed your rotten soul.
Then, I stopped.
Then, I prayed.
Today, I look at you, I look at me and our little family and I know that it was only God who could have changed us. My faith has been renewed and our lives have been restored.
I love you more now than ever before and not as my husband, but as a person––living, breathing, and sharing his life with me. This love is unconditional and it’s forever. And dear husband, even if we fall again and never manage to return to this place, I will still love you because you are a part of me and a son of God and when I pray for you, He listens.
So, I will never stop praying for you and that, my love, is the ultimate.
Thank you for returning and for returning whole. All my love. All my life.

Wife

    My Love,

    Over the years, I have been so hard on you but, only because I know how good you can be––how much of a better man there has always been inside of you.

    There were times when you hadn’t been a good friend to me, nor a good husband or father. There were times when you abandoned me and everything we built. You tore us apart with lies and mistrust, infidelities, and your absence.

    I spent so many years being so hurt. I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep, unable to stomach food or drink, unable to forgive, forget, or love you. I have hated you and cursed your rotten soul.

    Then, I stopped.

    Then, I prayed.

    Today, I look at you, I look at me and our little family and I know that it was only God who could have changed us. My faith has been renewed and our lives have been restored.

    I love you more now than ever before and not as my husband, but as a person––living, breathing, and sharing his life with me. This love is unconditional and it’s forever. And dear husband, even if we fall again and never manage to return to this place, I will still love you because you are a part of me and a son of God and when I pray for you, He listens.

    So, I will never stop praying for you and that, my love, is the ultimate.

    Thank you for returning and for returning whole. All my love. All my life.

    Wife

    — 4 years ago
    "Hi, this is Ralph. I’m not available right now so please leave a message after the tone and I’ll be sure to get back to you at my earliest convenience."
*** BEEP! ***
Hey Honey,
It’s me. Your wife.
I’m just leaving this message to let you know that you’ll be sleeping with Rocket tonight.
Ok.
Oh. By the way, Rocket’s in heat.
Love you!
Bye.

    "Hi, this is Ralph. I’m not available right now so please leave a message after the tone and I’ll be sure to get back to you at my earliest convenience."

    *** BEEP! ***

    Hey Honey,

    It’s me. Your wife.

    I’m just leaving this message to let you know that you’ll be sleeping with Rocket tonight.

    Ok.

    Oh. By the way, Rocket’s in heat.

    Love you!

    Bye.

    — 4 years ago
    Dear Fuckhead Darling Fuckhead,

I am so happy that one of us gets to sleep in every morning.
Yeah. It just warms me to see you dreaming in the midst of pissy Pull-Ups and pulverized Cheerios.
You look like an angle, lying there, in all your glory––mouth agape, breathing.
All that breathing.
In
Out
In
Out
Someone should do something about that.

xoxo,
Your homicidal loving wife

    Dear Fuckhead Darling Fuckhead,

    I am so happy that one of us gets to sleep in every morning.

    Yeah. It just warms me to see you dreaming in the midst of pissy Pull-Ups and pulverized Cheerios.

    You look like an angle, lying there, in all your glory––mouth agape, breathing.

    All that breathing.

    In

    Out

    In

    Out

    Someone should do something about that.

    xoxo,

    Your homicidal loving wife

    — 4 years ago
    Hey kids! I know I’m your mom and all but I love it when you fuckers hit the road, get lost and beat it.
Play dates are the best!
Dumping you off on other moms brings new meaning to my life.
Enjoy your time away from home and don’t you and your dirty ass friends even think of coming over here to continue your little tirade. 
No.
Keep that shit over there at what’s-her-face’s house.
As for me, I’ll be here - drinking - and later on, when I go out, I’m going to tell people my name is ChiChi, that I’m 19, and from Honduras. 
Yep! Tonight, I don’t even know you people!
Love,
Your Mom.

    Hey kids! I know I’m your mom and all but I love it when you fuckers hit the road, get lost and beat it.

    Play dates are the best!

    Dumping you off on other moms brings new meaning to my life.

    Enjoy your time away from home and don’t you and your dirty ass friends even think of coming over here to continue your little tirade. 

    No.

    Keep that shit over there at what’s-her-face’s house.

    As for me, I’ll be here - drinking - and later on, when I go out, I’m going to tell people my name is ChiChi, that I’m 19, and from Honduras. 

    Yep! Tonight, I don’t even know you people!

    Love,

    Your Mom.

    — 4 years ago
    Dearest Husband,
Stop sending me flowers.
You know why?
Because flowers don’t talk - and then they die. Kinda like us.
At some point, we’re going to have to forget one another get it together and fall in love again.
But, in the meantime, I’ve got to admit it’s really sad peaceful around here and I really don’t miss your dirty laundry and nail clippings.
However…
I do miss you. You fuck.
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Now come home.
xoxo
Your Wife

    Dearest Husband,

    Stop sending me flowers.

    You know why?

    Because flowers don’t talk - and then they die. Kinda like us.

    At some point, we’re going to have to forget one another get it together and fall in love again.

    But, in the meantime, I’ve got to admit it’s really sad peaceful around here and I really don’t miss your dirty laundry and nail clippings.

    However…

    I do miss you. You fuck.

    Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Now come home.

    xoxo

    Your Wife

    — 4 years ago with 1 note